It was always you
by xibitexx
Summary: My first fanfiction. Enjoy.


"and watching them, the way her fingers stroked _**Damon's**_ hair, the way he cried into her collarbone, I knew that this was _**true love**_."

The year was 1864 and the world I was in was… well, I wasn't quite sure. Everything was blurry, rapidly changing as I tried and failed to adjust to the abnormal pace. The ghosts of my past still haunted me, but I was able to lock them away for long periods of time, simply by putting my attention elsewhere. The Salvatore brothers had this power… this exquisite remedy that tasted, to say the least, deliciously bittersweet.

Stefan was insecure, always worrying that I was fonder of Damon. Damon, on the other hand, was content simply by knowing that I loved him; he was willing to wait to find out how much. I, the girl whose heart was literally torn apart, found myself unable to live without either of them. And I, the woman whose only purpose in life had been to survive, now found myself trying to protect the life of these two ordinary and yet fascinating boys; I found that my life was now bound to theirs.

Oh, the sweet agony of wanting to give them my all, but finding that I couldn't. By loving two people, I was automatically choosing to give each of them one half of my lifeless, cold, and damaged heart. I was choosing to doom their lives by simply being a part of them. I was trying to find myself, but lost us all in the long, difficult process. I allowed my selfishness to take over and I loved them both without care. I ruined what could've been a perfect fairytale with one or the other because I couldn't let go… I had to have Stefan, and I had to have Damon.

(…)

The afternoon was abnormally bright, as if the sun was eager for me to awake, and all I could see was white and yellow for what felt like an eternity. When my eyes finally adjusted to the light, I blinked a few times and sat up, kicking the blankets off of me and stretching my arms out above my head. I could hear everything; the low 'thuds' every time my handmaid, Emily Bennett, began to pace around her room, the flapping of wings outside my window, the quiet ongoing conversation between Giuseppe Salvatore and one of his servants, the sound of laughter coming from the garden. I focused on the garden, turning to look in its direction. "She's … different. Unlike any other girl I've seen," said Stefan suspiciously, probably trying to get Damon to share what endeavors he and I had been involved in… together. "Indeed. But how do you know if YOU'RE normal?" Damon's small chuckle echoed through the garden, and I found myself duplicating the sound, blinking in surprise as it escaped my own lips. I quickly jumped out of my bed and slipped on a simple green sundress. I made sure my skirts were in place, then grinned at my reflection in the mirror, admiring myself while pulling my hair up, allowing a few curls to fall into small, beautiful cascades over my rosy cheeks. Once satisfied with my appearance, I made my way downstairs and out into the garden. Sure enough, the boys were still playing, fighting over the football Damon had brought from somewhere in the South. "This game bores me. Can we play hide and seek?" Grinning at the two of them, I watched their expressions and listened to their heartbeats as they accelerated. Oh, how I loved having that effect on them.

I raised my chin up in the air, radiating superiority from every pore. I was, after all, their master, the one they'd do anything for. I loved them, and they loved me, and the feeling was exquisite and sweet and powerful… I couldn't get enough. Of course I knew, deep inside, that there were different kinds of love, and that I loved each Salvatore differently. But I refused to admit that to myself; I did not wish to declare one of them my favorite, nor did I plan on choosing one. I had our future all planned out in my head… they just didn't know that yet. "Sweet Stefan, you're it!" My loud, angelical giggle echoed through the depths of the Salvatore Estate and was quickly joined by Damon's words of approval and Stefan's disappointed groan. I grabbed Damon by the arm and began to run, ignoring Stefan's complaints. I had volunteered him to look for us because I knew that he'd do as I said. His eldest brother, on the other hand, was much more stubborn and difficult to deal with, and I did not feel like arguing with anyone today. I wanted to enjoy my precious Salvatores' company with no worries or regrets.

"Over here," I said, yanking Damon backwards then shoving him into a group of large, tall bushes that surrounded the main mansion. Once we were both hidden behind the wall of green, under the security of its leaves, I tackled him onto the ground and proceeded to situate myself on top of him. I saw him smirk, clearly enjoying the game a lot more than he should, and my heart instantly began to pound heavily against my chest. I loved him, and I loved knowing that I had him all to myself now. I heard Stefan announce that he was coming for us, and my excitement only grew stronger. This was what I wanted; to have one at my mercy, whilst being chased by the other.

Stefan's silent footsteps were distant now; he clearly had no idea of where to look, and he was being led astray by his wrong calculations. He was now heading the opposite direction, and I knew that Damon and I would be waiting behind the bushes for a while. "Enjoying yourself?" I teased, leaning down so that my chest was pressed against his own. I began to trail soft, heated kisses down his throat and over his shoulder, well-aware that the simple actions would cause him to lust after me. Instead of ignoring the thought and attempting to behave like a respectable lady, I grinned at the idea and grazed my sharp teeth against his neck, letting out a small laugh when he shifted beneath me. "Not here… I can't reciprocate when we're hiding under a bush," he groaned, but his hands were already exploring the curves of my body, touching, rubbing, caressing. I smiled in approval. "Clearly… you can," I stated, shifting as if trying to mirror his previous movement. Various parts of my body tensed deliciously in response, making it hard for me to remember where I was and what exactly I was doing.

"Damon! Katherine!" Stefan's voice startled me, dragging me back into reality. I heard Damon groan in protest, but before he could convince me to stay, I stood up and made myself known. Stefan gasped, then narrowed his eyes, trying to decide whether he should be mad or grateful to have finally found me. "I'm really good at hiding and I could probably stay hidden forever but… I didn't want you to get bored," I explained, walking over to him. I heard Damon struggle to get out from behind the plants, kicking branches out of the way and cursing under his breath. "New game," I said.

Taking the lead, I began to walk towards the forest, heading nowhere in particular. I got bored easily, but that was no surprise to my beloved Salvatores. They followed, eager to find out what our next adventure was going to be. I, too, found myself growing more and more excited, exploring all the different possibilities in my head. I wanted to run away, take Stefan and Damon with me, and enjoy my well-deserved happy ending for eternity but- the time wasn't right yet. I had a plan to conclude and unfortunately the last page of my story was years, maybe centuries away, waiting to be written once the seas of my life were calm and bright, not wild, dark, and stormy.

I stopped abruptly, my eyes glowing with excitement as I turned on my heels to face them. It was strange, spending time with both of them _together_. I was used to keeping them separate, to avoid conflict and heartache. Compulsion had been used many times on Stefan because I knew that what he really wanted to do was run and forget he ever met me but… Damon's mind was still entirely his. I never had to use compulsion on him; he was loyal and loved me for who I was. I smiled at him, causing his eyes to narrow in suspicion. He had no idea of what I was thinking, and I was sure he was dying to find out. I gazed into his beautiful pale hues, and for a moment, I allowed myself to drown in them, forgetting about everyone and everything.

"What's this game you have in mind, Miss Katherine?" Stefan's voice caused me to snap back into reality, blinking repeatedly as I turned to look at him. I bit down on my bottom lip, my thoughts still filled with Damon. I did not understand what was going on, and the foreign feeling was pleasant but intimidating. Should I allow such feelings to take over me? Well, my decision was already made, whether I knew it or not. Stepping towards Stefan, I looked into his eyes, suddenly feeling repulsed at the sight of him. I was, to say the least, sick of compelling him to do as I said. He was nothing but a puppet, and now I understood why Damon was so much more challenging and… worthy of my time. "Stefan, only two can play this game. I'll play with you later," I explained, then locked my eyes on his, staring more intently into his green hues. "Go back home and work on your studies. I'll come for you this evening," I commanded, watching as he nodded and turned on his heels, heading back towards the main mansion.

Turning around once again, this time to face Damon, I smirked. He stood there bewildered, his eyebrows furrowed as he stared at me in amazement. There was no fear, no apprehension, just… excitement and joy. He loved me and I could feel his love, engulfing me, holding me down and simultaneously lifting me up. Such an overwhelmingly pleasant feeling that was I was having an extremely hard time breathing. I felt trapped, and I did not wish to be freed. "Forget Stefan. I want you." I watched as the words sunk in and his eyes began to glow with excitement. His breathing changed and before I could react, I felt it… the unseen force that was impossible to resist, pulling me towards him, causing every inch of my body to ache for his touch. I picked up my skirts and raised an eyebrow, walking past him, heading South. "There's an abandoned cabin somewhere over there," I pointed towards the mountains, then glanced over my shoulder to grin at him. "Come."

It was a short walk to the small cabin, but every step seemed to take forever. I was eager to have Damon in my arms, to feel his heated skin beneath my fingertips. My body was screaming at me, aching for him. I wanted him now, and I wanted him badly. When we finally reached the front porch steps, my breathing was shallow and my eyes were burning with desire. I knew that he felt the same, and the thought was so… exciting that it took every ounce of self-control I had not to kiss him right there. I turned the doorknob, well-aware that the door was unlocked, and walked in, waiting for Damon to follow. He was right behind me, and without turning around, I heard him slam the door shut. Before I could speak, he was behind me, his arms wrapped securely around my slender waist, pulling me closer to him. "I don't recall giving you permission to touch me," I hissed, turning to face him. I saw him swallow, clearly afraid of what I might do next, but his fear was completely different from Stefan's. Damon wasn't going anywhere, and his other emotions were so strong that they easily overpowered his fear. I could see it all in his eyes; I could read him like an open book. "My dear, dashing Damon," I cooed, sliding my hands up to the collar of his shirt. I proceeded to undo the top button, then worked my way down. He was watching me, his body completely still as I removed his confederacy uniform. First his blue jacket, then his matching trousers. His undergarments were still in the way, but they revealed a lot more… I bit down on my bottom lip, staring. "I'm sorry I touched you, Miss Katherine. Are you going to punish me?" Damon's question brought a devious smile to my face. I knew that he was afraid but also excited to be punished. Such a thrilling idea. I thought about his question for a moment, just so his anxiety would continue to grow. Then, without any warning, I lunged for his throat, sinking my sharp teeth into the delicate skin. Blood flowed freely into my mouth, and I drank thirstily from him for a few moments, listening closely for his pained moans. He grabbed my hips and instead of pushing me away, he pulled me in closer. I moaned, pulling away as blood dripped from the corners of my lips. "Kiss me, Damon." I saw him hesitate for a moment, clearly repulsed, but he quickly composed himself. He would do anything to please me. Very slowly, he pulled my face to his and kissed me hungrily, putting so much passion into the kiss that I almost forgot how to breathe.

I was growing more and more impatient as the seconds ticked by; Damon did things to me that I could not yet comprehend. I pulled away only to remove his undergarments and shoes, adding them to the pile of clothes on the floor. The inside of the cabin was ancient, and dirty. The place had been abandoned for years. But right now, I couldn't care less about the environment. Damon was standing in front of me, completely nude and with blood dripping from the tiny wounds in his throat. The sight was breathtaking, and I couldn't seem to look away. "No more punishments for tonight, my love," I reassured him, turning on my heels so that my back was turned to him. "Now… I need help getting out of this dress. You have permission to… touch me," I said throatily, barely able to hide my excitement. His expert hands were quick to undo my corset strings, and in no time at all, he was pulling my dress down, until it slid down my body by itself. I stepped out of my clothes, dressed only in my undershorts and turned to look at him. His eyes were dark as he stared back at me, studying the defined curves of my body. I slowly pulled my white undershorts down my legs, then threw them to the side, proceeding to remove my shoes. We were both naked now, our bodies glistening in the moonlight and suddenly I realized that if Heaven really did exist, then it couldn't possibly be better than this.

I stepped towards Damon and wrapped my arms around his neck, pressing my bare chest to his. He held me tightly against him, and I knew that I was IN love. All the centuries I spent being selfish, all the time I wasted caring about only my own well-being now seemed so far away... I did not wish to be like that anymore. Everything had more meaning now; I felt whole. For some odd reason, I didn't even want Stefan now. I was done using him as a puppet… I didn't need him. I wanted Damon and no one else. Who would've thought? "You're so beautiful," he whispered in my ear and the sound of his voice nearly caused me to melt. I felt… human. I nuzzled his neck then began to lick up the blood from his throat, smiling at his groans. I slid my hands down his muscular chest, explored the muscles of his abdomen for a second, then slid my fingers further down. I took his erection in my small hand and smiled in approval; he wanted me just as much as I wanted him, and there was no stopping us now.

I ran my thumb over the length of his member, instinctively licking my lips. I knew that he was just as impatient as I was, and his eyes were telling me that he couldn't wait any longer but- I was having too much fun teasing him. "Someone wants to play," I whispered, tugging at his earlobe as I brought my thumb to the tip of his erection, tracing small circles around it. I repeated the agonizingly slow cycle a few times, allowing his muffled moans to fill the room. Driving Damon crazy was one of my favorite pastimes. I grinned. He was nuzzling my neck, and his hips rocked slowly as if he were begging for more, and I, myself, was starting to pant. By teasing him, I was torturing myself, and I was far too impatient to wait for the teasing to be over. But just as I was about to give in, I dropped my gaze down and groaned, too tempted to change my mind now. I slowly slid down his body and dropped to my knees, trailing my lips down to his hip as I did so. He shifted, and looking up at him through my dark lashes, I saw him bite his lip. He tangled his fingers in my hair and pushed himself into my cool, wet mouth, and I, knowing exactly what he wanted, began to suck... hard. He groaned in response and pushed his member deeper into my mouth, probably extremely grateful that I was a vampire and did not have a gag reflex. I grinned inwardly at the thought and began to deep-throat him, gathering all the experience I had acquired over the years and putting it towards this… towards pleasing this man. "Oh, Katherine…" He whimpered, causing my body to tremble slightly. I could not wait any longer.

I pulled away and sat back on my heels, grabbing his hands and forcing him onto his knees. His cheeks were slightly flushed, and I could see lust and desire glowing bright in his pale hues. "Damon…?" I called, leaning forward to kiss his chin, then his lips with a little too much enthusiasm. "Yes…?" He mumbled against my mouth, returning the kiss with just as much passion. I gripped onto his shoulders and moved to wrap both legs around his waist and he held me tightly against his body. We both groaned as his erection rubbed against my clit, causing us both to tremble. I looked into his eyes and smiled, genuinely happy to be in his arms. "Make love to me," I said breathlessly, moaning loudly when he finally entered me.

My walls tightened around his member and every muscle in my body began to tense in a way that made it really hard for me to focus. He gently laid me down on the wooden floor, his body hovering over mine as he stared down at me in awe. "I love you," he groaned, moving in and out of him slowly, his hands exploring every curve of my body. I believed him. I believed that he loved me, and that his love was pure. Never in my life had I met someone quite like Damon; men always loved me for all the wrong reasons but Damon… he loved me blindly and recklessly. He loved me purely. "Love is such a strong word, my love," I commented, arching my back as he continued to thrust into me. He shook his head, and suddenly began to move faster, causing my moans to grow louder. "The love I feel for you doesn't compare to the word, Katherine. I love you more than words can tell," he paused, taking a deep breath before picking up speed again. "I love you more than everything. I love you, I love you. And I will tell you that every day… forever."

I groaned. How could he love me so much? I sure as hell wasn't worthy of his love. But right now, I didn't want to question anything. I wanted to give myself entirely to him. My whole body trembled as I gripped onto his hips, and before I could stop myself, the words escaped my lips. "I love you, too." I blinked, surprised by my audacity. Had I just said that out loud? The look in his eyes answered my unspoken question. He let out a soft cry as the words sunk in, and as I watched him, he came undone. I felt his warm liquids inside of me and involuntarily, my walls clenched one last time, and I came.

We laid there, marveling in the beauty of what had just happened. We had slept together before, but I didn't know I loved him then. This time, it was real and eternal, and I knew that our future was about to change drastically. I wanted to spend eternity with him, and he did not plan on letting me go. We had decisions to make, plans to elaborate… we our entire lives ahead of us and we both agreed that we should spend every second we could together. No words had been spoke yet, but we knew. We understood.

(…)


End file.
